ADHD at ADE: How to Prepare for a Music Conference
If you've got ADHD and a big music conference coming up, decide three things before you travel. Who you'd love a proper conversation with. The two things each day that matter. And the one thing each day that brings you back to yourself. Write them down while you're calm, because a huge event eats your capacity faster than a normal working week, and you won't be able to make the plan once you're stood in the noise.
I'm writing this nine days before my first ADE. I've been selected for ADE Lab On Track, on the Performing Artist track. That's three days of masterclasses, mentoring and demo drops at Westergas, roughly ten till six, with the whole of Amsterdam Dance Event going on around it. This year that means 1,300 events across 300 venues in five days.
I've done big events before. Years ago I was a senior recruitment consultant in broadcast technology, looking after the whole of EMEA, and a couple of times a year that meant an international trade show. One of them was in Amsterdam, so I'm going back.
Those weeks went like this. Nine a.m. start on the trade floor, going round the stands, learning what was new in the industry, finding the people I had appointments with and trying to get in front of the ones I hadn't managed to get hold of. Then comes the evening. Buying somebody a drink in the bar, dinner with clients, taking candidates out. Nine a.m. until one a.m., every day, five days in a row.
It was a lot of fun. You make lots of friends and lots of connections, and it's brilliant. It's also absolutely knackering. You eat crap, you drink too much, you get ill when you get home and you're completely wiped out.
I did every one of those before anybody told me I had ADHD.
This is the first one I'm doing with a brain I understand. So this is the plan I'm taking with me.
Why do big events wipe out an ADHD brain so fast?
Stress reads as danger to an ADHD brain. It doesn't take much stress for your brain to start deprioritising the thinking part in favour of the running away part, and a conference is one long run of small stresses. Nothing is where you left it. Every face is new. There's no routine. It's loud. Each of those costs you brain points, and you were probably tired before you got on the plane.
Then there's the now, not now problem, and a programme with 1,300 events on it is the worst possible place to have it. Everything feels like now. You can't prioritise everything, and trying to prioritise it all at once is where it starts to fall down.
I'd rather be straight about the evidence. There's very little research on ADHD and conferences. What I've got is around 300 ADHD clients, five years of coaching ADHD specifically, and the same conversation after every conference season. They paid for the ticket. They turned up. By mid-afternoon they were managing themselves instead of meeting anybody, and they went home feeling like they'd wasted the money.
You also won't be the only one in the room doing those sums. When the Association for Electronic Music surveyed people working in the industry (AFEM, 2022), 58% of those who answered had a neurodivergent condition, and 38% had a clinical diagnosis. It was a small sample of people who chose to answer a survey about neurodiversity, so hold it loosely. I'd still bet on a fair few of us at Westergas.
How do you plan for a music conference with ADHD?
Small, and before you go.
Before you go is the bit I learned in recruitment. We used to spend an awful lot of time preparing for a trade show. Who did I need to speak to? Who did I want an appointment with? Who could I check in with first, so that when we met at the show it was worthwhile? Who did I want to meet in the bar, and did I know what they looked like?
That list was all about other people. This time there's a line on it for me. I'm using three, two, one.
Three people. Across the whole event, three people you'd love a proper conversation with. Names if you've got them, types if you haven't. A booker. Somebody two steps ahead of you. Somebody who runs a night you love. If you've got names, check in with them this week. A quick hello before the event means that when you do meet, it's worthwhile.
Two things a day. The two things that matter that day. Everything else is a bonus, and you're allowed to skip a bonus.
One thing for you. One thing a day that brings you back to yourself, in the diary like a session. A walk. Food, sat down. Twenty minutes with nobody talking to you.
That's the plan, and it fits on one screen.
Then do the boring jobs this week, while they're still easy. At Lab On Track the smaller workshops have limited space and need signing up for in advance, which is a now job dressed up as a not now job. Put the venue and the walking time in every calendar entry. Decide which nights you're going out before you land, because 1,300 events means you could be out every night until five, and nobody's keeping score.
How do you network when you have ADHD?
Leave the pitch at home and take one question.
I watched a lot of people work a room in my recruitment years. The ones everybody remembered asked a good question and then listened to the answer. The polished patter was forgotten by lunch.
That's good news for us. A pitch is a script, and scripts fall out of an ADHD head the second the room gets loud. Being curious about people stays put. It's one of the things our brains are brilliant at.
So take one question in with you. "What are you working on that you're excited about?" does the job nearly every time. Have one plain line ready for when they ask you back. Mine is "I'm a DJ, and I coach people in music who've got ADHD." Then as soon as you walk away, record a voice note. Who they were, what they said, what you said you'd send. Your working memory won't hold it until the hotel.
What if being seen is the hard part?
Lab On Track has demo drops and mentor one to ones. That means handing something I made to people whose opinion matters, in a room, and waiting.
If you've got rejection sensitivity, your body will have a view on that before your head does. I wrote about that recently in why rejection hurts in your body.
Two things help me. The first is separating the feeling from the evidence. The feeling says they've made a mistake picking me. In actual fact, somebody read my application and said yes.
The second is small reps. Waiting to feel ready has never once worked for me, so day one has a single job, which is asking one question out loud in a masterclass. That's it. Being seen is something you practise in small goes, and the nerve turns up afterwards.
How do you look after your nervous system at a festival?
Mostly by packing for it, and by getting out before you need to.
Earplugs, for the clubs and also for the queue and the hotel corridor. Headphones and one playlist you know off by heart for walking between venues, because familiar calms you down faster than new. Food you'll eat, since lunch is the first thing to go. Water.
Then go outside. Westergas sits in a park, so ten minutes of trees is right there, and it works better taken early than taken as an emergency.
And leave while it's still the best thing ever. You don't have to be the last one there for it to count.
What about the week after?
Plan it now, because the bill for being on always arrives.
Put nothing in the diary the day you get home. Then book one hour on day three for follow-ups, and send the rubbish two line version. "Lovely to meet you at Westergas, this is the thing I mentioned." Done is better than perfect, and a short message on day three beats a beautiful one you never send.
The proper way to do ADE, apparently, is all of it. Every panel, every party, every hand shaken. I've done events that way. It was brilliant, and it took a lot out of me. Three good conversations, and coming home still feeling like myself, is a good week.
There is no one right way to do a conference.
If big rooms are the bit of your music career that keeps going wrong, that's a fair chunk of what I do with clients. Have a look at ADHD coaching and book a connection call.
FAQ
Is ADE overwhelming if you have ADHD?
It can be. Five days, 1,300 events and 300 venues is a lot of noise, new faces and decisions for a brain that reads stress as danger. A small plan made before you travel, and breaks taken before you need them, make a big difference.
Should I tell people at a conference that I have ADHD?
That's yours to decide, and you don't owe it to anybody. In electronic music you're likely to be in good company. I say it early because it's my job, and it saves me masking all day.
How do I follow up after a conference when I have ADHD?
Book the time before you go. One hour, two or three days after you get home, and send two lines to each person. If it ends up three weeks late, send it anyway.
What should I pack for a festival or conference with ADHD?
Earplugs, headphones, a playlist you know well, food you'll eat, water, a notebook and a pen, and a plan short enough to fit on one screen.
